This struggle is real my friends! Watch this!
Hi friends i’m here to talk about a little problem i’ve been having. I know now that it is an addiction and it’s name is Candy Crush! It starts so simple and easy, it makes you feel on top of the world, you can crush any candy that is put in front of you! Or can you? Suddenly their are obstacles, jellies, cages, whip cream, time limits! It will never be like that first time, you’ll never recapture that euphoria again.
It’s not supposed to be this hard, candy should be fun and sweet but instead it lies and mocks you! First do you really think I believe that those suggested moves are really going to help me? I think not, I for one do the exact opposite of what the game suggests. Mr Toffee do you think that I don’t know that you’ve been sent to try and control me? Do you think that I believe your minion Tiffi’s mocking tears of sadness? Ha! No I don’t. Just when I know i’m about to be on top again, i’m finally going to make it this time, this time i’m going to be a winner, I can have something good for once in my life you snatch it all away and then tell me that I have to wait to take my chance at success again. Well played Mr. Toffee, well played.
Yes you’re my pusher man I know, you force me to run around begging for it like Halle Berry in Jungle Fever. Does it make you happy to see me beg? I’m sure it does, I wait, I beg all while you smile and Tiffi cries her condescending tears of mockery. Again I say well played sir.
Luckily there is help! Watch the above.